Questions

Let me start this out by disappointing the grandparents and confessing that I do not have any new pictures to put up for this post. Yes, once again, I will just be ranting with reckless abandon about absolutely nothing. BUT.....I do promise to whip the camera out later this week and take pictures. I have even set a goal to get a Christmas card out this year. Can't you see the effort? (Don't answer that)

Lately, my life has been full of unanswered questions. I don't really feel the need to seek answers, but thought I'd at least share some questionable moments in the past couple of weeks.

1. Why did my Noah flush my keys down the toilet? I was ready to commit myself after searching for the stupid things for an hour and a half. Good thing nothing of importance was on them....only the keys to my car, house, office, parents' house, and sister's house were on there. No biggie....who needs to drive back home? Not us....especially since the parts dept. at Reno Honda doesn't work over Thanksgiving. 
2. Why does my 1st grader have more homework than my 11th grader? Does this make sense? I'm just sayin'.
3. Is there an illness for people who can't send birthday cards/gifts on time? I think I have it.
4. Why is writing becoming so dreadful? I used to love it and now I'm tapped out.
 

Work in Progress

Who knew there wasn't an instant mix for families where you can just stir and everything will naturally blend? Well, it's been an insightful and wonderful journey we've been on the last few months as we have added two teenage girls to our family. But I would be lying if I said it was all bliss and moments of us holding hands around the dinner table. It's a transition. It's hard to expect two girls, who have really never known what it feels like to be part of a family, to immediately feel comfortable and allow us in. In the little time they have been with us, I know there is a lot of hurt, pain, sadness, and emptiness they regularly cope with. I know they struggle to feel normal on most days and I know they crave structure and stability. We are all trying to give that to them, but also balancing the individual space and time they need to go through this process.

The social worker came to visit and follow-up a couple of weeks ago....I was so incredibly touched to learn how happy they are so far to be with us. And I have tried to explain how blessed we feel as well to have them in our lives. There have been tears, there has been frustration, re-direction, long talks....but we accept and know this is part of our journey of becoming a family.

Donna is 19 and has goals of being on her own. We are trying to help her figure out finances, look for a possible studio apartment near us, and get her on track with her education. She is attending a local community college and hopes to earn her cosmetology license.

Nancy is only 16 and we have outlined her goals as well. Naturally, she would love to get her driver's license (and let's face it....I would LOVE for her to get it too!). So, we have signed her up for the necessary classes to complete this. She is doing so incredibly well in her junior year, but she also has quite a few credits to make up. Thankfully, I am right there to help her get back on track. She is extremely bright and every time I see her interact with my children, I can easily envision her being an amazing elementary school teacher. She is patient, gifted, and has a keen sense of what is right and wrong. I have encouraged her to try one of our classes called "Careers in Teaching" for her senior year where she can intern at one of our schools in the district. She seems interested.....let's hope.

I have yet to regret the decision we made to take them in. It has taught Tim and I several life lessons as well and it is a nice reminder of how important it is to express love, maturity, and consistency at all times. Even though we kind of "fell" into this situation, we wouldn't trade it for the world. And as hard as we knew it would be, the fulfillment that comes along with it is overwhelming. So, our little family of 6 is slowly beginning to feel like a family of 6.

That kind of day

Let's just say I have a beer in my hand (thanks for leaving some Sam Adams for me, Mike), pizza in the oven, a rented a movie for the kids on TV, and am basking in what I hope is just a little bit of silence at the end of the day. Yes, it's been that kind of day. The kind where your husband has a late meeting and you have two kids jumping off the wall at home. Or the kind where you look at the clock and it says 11:30 am instead of 7:00 pm. The kind of day that requires a beer in my hand, pizza in the oven, and a movie to zone the kids out. But then I realize I have a four-day weekend ahead of me......and a smile comes over me. Yeah.....not one ounce of guilt over this one. I think I'll have another.

Grammy and Goppie Visit!

Grammy and Goppie were in town for an entire week and I managed to get zero pictures with them and the kids. I am awful, simply awful. As a matter of fact, I had to steal a picture of Goppie and Noah off of my mother-in-law's Facebook page. I have no filters and no shame. Anyway, we loved having them out and the kids had a fabulous time with them!

 I take everything back; I DID get at least one picture of Grammy with Sophie! Woo hoo!

Goppie and Noah, courtesy of Lori's Facebook page

Halloween 2010

We had a great Halloween this year! The kids were favorite superheroes from back in the day looking absolutely adorable as Superman and Wonder Woman! Tim's parents were in town, so they were excited to take the kids trick-or-treating while Tim and I gave out candy and listened to the Giants game. We looked like an old couple hanging out on the driveway in our lawnchairs while listening to the game on the radio. Seriously, how old are we? Here are a few pics from Halloween and a local pumpkin patch we visited:

 Here are the cutest superheroes EVER!

 Sophie striking a pose....Noah is too cool to strike a pose.

 Figuring out the corn maze while visiting the local pumpkin patch!

 Noah the Navigator

Having fun on the big Pillow Jump!

Randoms

It seems like a lot has been going on with my life, but just because I have a lot going on doesn't mean any of it is worth documenting (i.e. really non-exciting stuff happening). I'm counting my blessings. Anyway, something MUST be worth sharing....right?

• Switched health plans and had to switch doctors. Met with my doctor for the first time yesterday. I hate not knowing what to do, what to expect, and having to step on a damn scale. I also left with a tetanus shot because I hear it's the "in" thing to do and I'm all about following the trend. I also heard whooping cough sucks. They told me I'd be a little sore in the arm, but I woke up with a sore right ankle. Are they connected somehow?
• I think the kids are doing well. Tim and I wouldn't know because we are busy watching baseball. Go Giants!!!
• I have a lot of cute sweaters I'm excited to wear, but it's hard to do when the pool is busy and it's 90 degrees out. Which makes me wonder how the heck October got here?!
• I have about 30 letters of recommendation to write for my seniors (and more to come), which means it's procrastination time. I have written only 4 letters, but my office is sparkling clean! I also have no qualms about calling in my students and giving THEM a hard time for procrastinating. For some reason, I feel like I have earned that right.
• I had to work our homecoming football game last week (and I dragged Tim with me). The section I was responsible for consisted of only middle school kids. I have decided I will send my children away during these formative years. Being hormonal and having absolutely no level of reasoning can't be good. Worst. Stage. Ever.
• Our little family of 6 is adjusting well, with the exception of a little puppy who is killing me with his accidents in the house. I'm glad I have very little carpet, otherwise we would have moved out of our house by now. I keep telling Tim....I potty trained the kids, the least he can do is potty train this damn dog.

Passive Aggression....and then some

I'm not quite sure what is going on with Tim's paranoia, but he seems to think I am out to GET him. Maybe he's working way too much and his exhaustion and delirium are catching up to him. Anyway, we took a trip to Reno the previous weekend and did a lot of shopping while there. Earlier in the week, Tim asked me if I saw a shopping bag with two VERY IMPORTANT ITEMS (according to Tim, very important = leather conditioner for his shoes and hair gel....freaking hair gel). Anyway, I told him I do remember bringing it in, but I don't know where it is. I assumed it would show up sooner or later and didn't really worry about it. Apparently, I didn't realize how important these items were. Tim searched the house a dozen times and never found it. I did a quick scan and didn't see it either. A couple of days later, of all places, I found it in Noah's room. All was good with the world......so I thought.

Cue to today, an entire week later....and I am getting ready this morning. I decide to put on my usual uniform for the weekend (yoga pants and t-shirt) and remembered I had purchased a new pair of yoga pants and Nevada Wolf Pack shirts while in Reno the weekend prior. I couldn't recall bringing them in or seeing them in the last week, so my search began. Searched everywhere, including the garage and Tim's closet.....I was two seconds away from calling my parents to see if I had left them there and Tim ends up calling me to check in for the morning. I ask him if he had seen my clothes I bought from Reno. With a slight hesitation, he told me to look in his nightstand drawer. What the heck? Why in the world would they be in his nightstand drawer? Who would put them THERE? When I inquired....Tim giggled and said he was holding them HOSTAGE until I gave in and told him where his leather conditioner and hair gel was. Because he thought I was purposely hiding them from him. Purposely. Hair gel. Leather conditioner. Because I have nothing better to do than HIDE HIS SH*&.

This, fellow readers, is a classic example of passive aggression. Tim better watch it....I just might park his truck around the block one day ;)

Pumpkins!

I took the day off from work to accompany Noah and his class to the pumpkin patch! We had so much fun and I loved getting some individual time with my little guy. Here are some pictures from our day!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

I have to say I'm kind of excited I had more than one comment on my last post! Now, if it would only motivate me to actually blog....that would be great. I'm thinking my last paragraph might have been a little over dramatic, but I have been known to do that. Be dramatic, that is.

It is true that our family has gone through some changes in the last month or so. First, we added Max to the mix...who still happens to think it's perfectly fine to pee and poop in my house. People thought I was crazy when I added another dog to my already chaotic family and schedule. But, I guess I didn't think I had enough on my plate to deal with. My life, without my knowing it, was missing something. I'm not quite sure how everything happened and I still don't know a lot, other than the fact that our family was in a position to open our hearts and home. With that, I'd like all of you to meet Nancy (left) and Donna......

We have grown to a family of six in a very small amount of time. Donna and Nancy are beautiful, kind-hearted, positive, amazing young women. As I explained to Sophie and Noah, sadly their Mom was taken from them a long time ago but is now in heaven and their father was never able to care for them after their mother's death, so sometimes it's important for others to reach out. They have been through more in their short life than most of us will even witness in a lifetime. After a turbulent and difficult upbringing, they were recently in dire straits and needed a home. After some serious soul searching and discussions with Tim, we took a deep breath and allowed ourselves to say "yes". We knew it would be a huge sacrifice; we knew it would challenge our marriage; we knew it would bring up a lot of questions and discussions with Sophie and Noah; we knew how hard it would be; we knew there will be times when we fail. But, at the end of the day, Tim and I were confident in one thing......we knew we could provide a home that would help make them feel nurtured, loved, and wanted.

It's difficult to explain how we came to this decision now. After a lot of praying and talks with Him, it became clear that these girls were meant to find us. Sure, there have been some speed bumps and we are still working out kinks (like what time is a reasonable curfew these days? And, all this paperwork for the courts, SERIOUSLY?), but we are figuring it out and adjusting well. Of all the things I anticipated being difficult, sadly the biggest challenge I've had I wasn't even prepared for. I wasn't prepared for all the judgment. Both our parents couldn't be more supportive of our decision; they have been absolutely wonderful. But, I have to admit I was surprised to receive such judgment from friends. You deal with the questions, as insensitive as they may be, and you answer as honestly as you can while also protecting the girls' privacy (which I will continue to do for their sake). You deal with the weird looks and the gasps and the "hmmms" when you try to explain your story. So, needless to say, it's been eye-opening. At the end of the day, Tim and I know we made the right decision and just continue to move forward doing what we feel is right. And we are oddly okay with the many people who think we're crazy. Trust me when I say we have no ill-will towards those who have questioned our decision; this isn't for everyone and it doesn't make one better than the other. It's all okay....really, it is. Somehow, I think my family will be okay too.

Elephant in the Room

Since no one else wants to address it, I will. We've all been staring at this elephant for months now and it's time to just come clean. I've had enough. I simply can't go another day. It's just too much. Well, here goes......I....think....I....may....have.....outgrownthisblog. There. It's out. I realize my children are only 6 and 3. I realize they may wonder what the hell happened in their lives between now and adulthood, but I'm banking on the fact that my kids have great long-term memory and will hold them dear to their heart. Okay, maybe not. I'm not quitting. Calm down grandparents. But, I may take a step back and re-evaluate where I want this blog to go....if anywhere. Maybe I'll continue to blog the same events year after year after year. Maybe I'll reinvent myself. Maybe I'll just hang out in this "maybe world" forever.

In all seriousness, a lot has changed in our family in the last month. Good, wonderful things, but also a huge adjustment. I do plan to explain soon, but I'm still figuring out how to shorten a very, very long story! Now, do I have you by the edge of your seat? Good....hang out for a while.