I know last week I was all lovey dovey and saying how blessed I am on our anniversary....blah...blah. Just be prepared because this post
may seem like it's written by a completely different person from last week, to the point where you may wonder if someone hacked into my computer a week ago. I am also fully aware I post about this subject on a yearly basis to the point where I should probably just cut and paste and save myself the time. But on a serious note, I think this year may be the absolute worst and I am typing as fast as I can because my feelings about it are very raw right now. Yes, folks, I'm talking about Fantasy Football. Year after year, this damn game produces new converts. "Oh Cheryl, I hated it too. But I finally decided to give it a try and whaddayaknow, I'm ADDICTED!" Fabulous....there's one less person to go shopping with to avoid all the mayhem. Anyway, it's about that time and I have decided to protect myself and meet with a professional to draw up a contract of some sort (all my lawyer friends, please call me...unless, of course, you are one of THEM). If I could, and don't put anything past me at this point, it would say something like this:
1) I, Tim, shall not lock myself in the bedroom with my laptop (or any laptop belonging to CHERYL) for 10 hours on Sundays or 4 hours on Monday evenings.
2) I, Tim, will not hover around Cheryl asking to use the computer because I will furnish my own laptop from work to check scores and receive real-time updates.
3) I, Tim, will avoid texting more than 50 times per day with my league buddies. And if I must, I will try not to giggle and share the text information with Cheryl assuming she will actually care.
4) I, Tim, will give 100% of any winnings to Cheryl to use on anything she wants.
5) I, Tim, am fully aware my wife may disappear without notice for the next 17 Sundays after football season. I shall not question nor complain.
So, these five just barely scratch the surface. I think I might be on to something here....