Giving Myself Permission

I leave for Palm Springs in a couple of days. I still haven't packed. I'm very excited about spending quality time with good friends and enjoying time away in a beautiful place, but part of me is also overwhelmed with anxiety. Overwhelmed with the idea of leaving my children for the longest stretch since they were born. All of these feelings of guilt and worry, even though I KNOW they will be just fine. Trying to convince myself how much I desperately need this time away, but still grappling with the idea that I will not have my kids by my side. I've had these feelings before on the few getaways Tim and I have had, which have lasted no longer than two nights away from them. On each of these occasions, I like to tell myself I had a great time, but the truth is there was a part of me that was never fully present....always wondering how the kids were doing, if they were behaving, hoping they were happy. Despite checking on them and receiving confirmation that they were okay and happy, I allowed myself to continue to feel guilt and worry. All this time, I found a way to blame other reasons for having these feelings. But the truth of the matter is.....I bring these feelings on myself because somehow I have convinced myself I do not need nor deserve to enjoy my time away from my children........until NOW.

In two days, I leave for Palm Springs and I will be ready. I will leave knowing Sophie and Noah will be loved and cared for. I will not only show up, but I will be 100% present for myself and my dear friends. I will laugh, smile, and recharge knowing my children are feeling the love from their Daddy....and they will have him all to themselves. I will remember that a person existed for an entire 26 years before having children and I will try and find that person once again. I will acknowledge the importance of an identity other than that of a mother, but at the same time understand that I am blessed to be given such a role. I will be thankful for having a husband who understands partnership and wish him a wonderful experience during this bonding time with his children. And lastly, I will exchange the old feelings of guilt and replace them with overwhelming joy, knowing it will make me an even better mother.

Lazy Summer Days

It has been a hectic summer in the Youngberg household. We just haven't had as many days to lounge around and just do nothing, so when we have the opportunity, I try to take full advantage of it! One of our favorites is going to the park and having a picnic. I'll admit they've been few and far between this summer, but I think it'll be a favorite memory for us.....

Taking our shoes off and just relaxing.

Sophie and Noah digging into their lunch after playing hard on the slides and swings!

Golf Camp 2009

Sophie finished up golf camp this week and had such a blast! She was so excited every morning, eager to get ready and get out on the golf course! It was a camp for kids a bit older (5-7 years), so she was the youngest one out there. That didn't stop her from having a good time and learning the rules of golf!

Here's Sophie getting ready to putt.

Checking things out and waiting her turn.

Walking off for the day with her new friend, Alex. They were inseparable and had such a great time together!

Back to the Potty Dance....

It seems like only yesterday I was potty training Sophie. Now, Noah is next in line to graduate from diapers and into big boy underwear! He's been quite the stubborn pupil, doing what he wants when he wants. I think he's playing mind games with me because he knows exactly what he needs to do and knows when he needs to go. He's making good progress, I just forget all the bad parts of potty training....like sitting on the bathroom floor forever, bribing with everything imaginable, setting the timer over and over, and just dealing with a stubborn child! Just when I'm ready to throw my hands up, last night he impressed all of us and went poop in the potty for the first time! Woo hoo! Good job Noah!!!

Keeping Cool

During the six day heatwave we had, we did everything we could to stay cool. We are so glad Auntie Jen's neighborhood has a pool.....this will be one of many visits to her house! All of us had a great time and can't wait to go back.

Taking a break on the sidelines.

Here's Sophie diving into the pool! She's getting better and better at it, even though she's still doing a bit of a belly flop.

Water Park!

It has been ridiculously hot here, reaching 100 degrees the past 5 days. We are trying to keep cool with the kids without anyone getting too cranky, but it seems Tim and I are the ones who are crabby over the heat! Yesterday, we took the kids to a local water park and the kids loved it! They ran around for two hours and went home and crashed. We all enjoyed a relaxing afternoon and headed to the golf course for the evening.

Crocodile Dock!

Sophie just finished a week of Vacation Bible School. She had the best time and loved every minute of it. She was able to see all of her friends, learn some fun new songs, and of course the importance of God in our life. The last day they had a program to share everything they learned and celebrate the end of VBS for this summer. Unfortunately, I was in no position to take any pictures, plus Noah thought it would be fun to take my camera and play with it.....since it kept him quiet, I let it be. So.....you will find the only picture I was able to take was of Sophie exiting the church AFTER the program. I try my best.....sometimes this is the best you get!

Sound Sleeper

Noah has transitioned to a toddler bed recently and he has done so well! We figured he was ready since he sleeps in a regular bed when we visit my parents in Reno. Plus, he slept in a regular bed when we were in Ohio as well. I was so worried we'd have problems with him coming out of his room, playing with toys in the middle of the night, etc. Surprisingly, he hasn't made a peep once! Tonight, I went to check on him and found he is also a very sound sleeper.....I found him sleeping on the floor cuddled with his blankie! Apparently, he fell off the bed (not a huge fall, people) and didn't even make a sound. I was able to put him back on his bed without him waking up at all....I love that he sleeps like his Daddy!

Diva-licious

I've decided I am no longer sad about Sophie entering Kindergarten (well, for now anyway!). This little girl is way too ready for Kindergarten. Her nonstop energy and inquisitive little mind is ready for the big leagues. She is testing my knowledge regularly and no longer accepts half of my answers as valid. It's time for her to put all of this energy onto her "lucky" teacher! She keeps asking me when school starts, telling me the supplies she is going to need, the clothes she must have, and continues to push that Kindergarten girls get to paint their toenails.....really??? Watch out world; here she comes!

Auntie Michelle is the best!

Auntie Michelle was in the mood to get the kids a couple of new toys. Since she went all out, it is definitely going to be their combined birthday/Christmas present!!! We can't seem to get Noah and Sophie off their new rides......

Here's Noah with his very own John Deere tractor.....after seeing Goppie's, he was excited to have one he can call his own!

Here's Sophie showing off her new bike! We were flabbergasted when she actually chose a color other than pink! She loves it and is very close to having her training wheels off....she all but mastered it on her other bike, but we thought we'd let her get used to this one before taking them off!